Publication Details and Purchasing Information

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Selected Format: Details

  • On Sale:

    Mar 26, 2019
  • ISBN:

    9780062838650
  • Pages:

    288
  • Size:

    6" x 9"
  • For Booksellers:

    Catalog Page

Book Title and Author Byline

To Have and to Hold

Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma

Product Description and Author Information

About the Book

"Dr. Molly Millwood’s To Have and to Hold will speak to so many women’s experiences. It embraces the ever-growing acceptance of attachment theory as a framework for understanding close relationships. She knows her material, has expertise and she writes beautifully. This will be a great addition to the self-help books in the science zeitgeist and is exactly what I would be looking for if I were a new mother."—Dr. Sue Johnson, bestselling author of Hold Me Tight

A clinical therapist’s exploration of the complexities of early motherhood, including its impact on a marriage, in a book that offers comfort, camaraderie, and practical guidance to new mothers.When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for all that she would gain: an adorable baby boy, hard-won mothering skills, and a messy, chaotic, love-filled home. But she didn’t anticipate what she would lose: an identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of wellbeing. And just when she was feeling her most vulnerable, her happy marriage—long a bedrock of stability and comfort—seemed to shift in unexpected ways too, tinged by anger and resentment.

As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event—she was not broken, and neither was her marriage. But without the benefit of such a perspective, many of women she saw in treatment grappled with shame, self-doubt, and fear—all the while struggling to confide in, trust, or seek comfort in their partners.

In To Have and To Hold, Molly illuminates the ways in which motherhood impacts a woman emotionally, psychologically, physically, and professionally—as well as how it impacts the stability and harmony of her relationship. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy comes thorny issues such as identity, control, autonomy, and dependency. And these issues are, most often, experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of complication, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time.

As Molly examines the inextricable link between women’s wellbeing as new mothers and the wellbeing of their relationships, she offers information and guidance to help readers reclaim their identities and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, rigorous research, and stories from Molly’s clinical practice, To Have and To Hold provides a lifeline to new mothers everywhere.

About the Author

Molly Millwood, Ph.D.

Photo of Molly Millwood, Ph.D.

Dr. Molly Millwood holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology with advanced specialized training in marital therapy and intimate relationships. After completing a post-doctoral fellowship at Stanford, Dr. Millwood joined the faculty of Saint Michael's College in Vermont where she is now a tenured professor and clinical supervisor. She teaches a course in marital therapy to graduate students earning their master’s degrees in clinical psychology, and her popular undergraduate course, The Psychology of Marriage & Relationships. She has published research articles on marital distress in peer-reviewed scientific journals and has presented her work at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association and other national conferences. Dr. Millwood is also a licensed psychologist in private practice where she is particularly known for her work with couples and with women navigating the transition to parenthood. She was a founding member of Vermont’s Postpartum Wellness Project, a community-based initiative to promote mental and physical wellness in new mothers through the services of a multidisciplinary team of practitioners. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two young children.

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